Wit & Wisdom

A teacher to a pupil: „Conjugate the verb „to walk“ in simple present.“ Pupil: „I walk. You walk…“ The teacher interrupts him: „Quicker, please.“ Pupil: „I run. You run …“
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aber nicht bei sich enden, bei sich anfangen, aber sich nicht selbst zum Ziel haben.“ (Martin Buber)
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ist ein Mensch, der ein Dutzend Austern bestellt, in der Hoffnung, sie mit der Perle, die er darin findet, bezahlen zu knnen.“ (Theodor Fontane)
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is a tiny shift of perspective to see something familiar in a totally new light.“
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Alex comes home after his Saturday game of golf. His wife, Amanda, asks him why he doesn't include their neighbour Jeff in the games any more.

Alex replies, „Would you want to play with a guy who always cheats, uses bad language, lies about his score and has nothing good to say about anyone else?“

„Of course I wouldn't,“ says Amanda.

„Well,“ Alex says, „neither does Jeff.“
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ist eine gepflasterte Strae; man kann gut darauf gehen – doch es wachsen keine Blumen auf ihr.“ (Vincent van Gogh)
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The father was slightly annoyed when he said to his inquisitive son: „You never stop asking questions. All day long you ask questions. Where would I be if I asked questions like you?“ The son answered: „You might be able to answer more of mine!“
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To give you an idea how difficult my wife can be, she bought me two ties for my birthday. To please her, I wore one. She hollered, „What's the matter, don't you like the other one?“
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A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
A tortoise does not run, does nothing and yet lives for 450 years.
And you say I should exercise?
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than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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