Wit & Wisdom

than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions.“ (Peter F. Drucker)
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A woman who played cards one night a month with a couple of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 1:30 at night. One night she tried not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over her arm, tiptoed nude in the bedroom only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. „Damm woman!“ he exclaimed. „Did you lose everything?“
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like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.“ (Forrest Gump)
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title is efficient without clothes to support it.“ (Mark Twain)
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A woman walked up to a little old man sitting in a rocking chair on his porch. „I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,“ she said. „What's your secret for a long happy life?“ „Well, I smoke at least sixty cigarettes a day,“ he started, „I also drink a crate of beer a day, eat fatty foods, and avoid exercise.“ „That's amazing,“ the woman said. „And how old are you, if I may ask?“ „Twenty-eight,“ he said.
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ist schn, solange man nicht die Freude an Dingen verloren hat, die man nicht mit Geld kaufen kann.“ (Salvador Dali)
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A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn‘t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, „Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.“
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, „What‘s my problem, doc?“ The doctor says, „You‘re not drinking enough water.“
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God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, „You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?“ St. Peter, thinking, nods his his head before saying, „No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back.“ „Hmmm,“ St. Peter reflects. „Well, how about Mercury?“ „No way!“ God about screams. „It's way too hot for me there!“ „I've got it,“ St. Peter says, his face lighting up. „How about going down to earth for your vacation?“ Chuckling, God remarks, „Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!“
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Ein Matrose der US-Navy schreibt whrend des Zweiten Weltkriegs an seine Eltern: „Ich darf nicht sagen, wo ich gerade bin, aber was ich gestern geschossen habe, war ein Eisbr.“ Ein Monat spter kommt wieder ein Brief: „Ich kann nicht schreiben, wo ich gerade bin, aber gestern habe ich mit einem Hula-Mdchen getanzt.“ Zwei Wochen danach kommt ein weiterer Brief: „Ich kann nicht schreiben, wo ich gerade bin, aber der Mann im weien Kittel sagt, ich htte besser mit dem Eisbren getanzt und das Hula-Mdchen erschossen.“
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