Wit & Wisdom

against profit, it is seldom profit that loses.“ (Shirley Chisholm)
(PERIOD]
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Skinny little whiteIrishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down andsays:
7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 10 inch penis, 6 pounds of testicles,Turner Brown.'

The little white Irishman faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, ''What's wrong with you?'

In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?‘

The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just giveyou the answers to the questions everyone always asks me…………….. I'm7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 10 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 poundseach, and my name is Turner Brown.'

The little white Irishman says: 'Turner Brown'?!….Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, „Turn around“!

[Period]

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im Leben sind nicht die, die man fr Geld bekommt.“ (Albert Einstein)
[ENDE]
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A plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the controlof a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they flytogether and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutualdislike.

Once theyreach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leansback in his seat, and mutters,

“I don'tlike Chinese “

“No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot,why not?”

“Youpeople bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!”

“No, no,”the co-pilot protests, “Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, notChinese.”

“Japanese,Chinese, Vietnamese … doesn't matter, you're all alike!”

There's afew minutes of silence.

“I no rike Jews either!” the co-pilotsuddenly announces.

“Oh yeah,why not?” asks the captain.

“Jewssink Titanic,” says the co-pilot.

“What?That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!” exclaims the captain, “It was aniceberg!”

“Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, …nomattah…all same!”

[PERIOD]

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ein Esel anschreit, hat es keinen Sinn zurckzuschreien.“ (George Herbert)
[ENDE]
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When you look through a keyhole and you see another eye.
[PERIOD]

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„It's just too hot to wear clothes today,“ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. „Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?“ „Probably that I married you for your money,“ she replied.
[PERIOD]
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is lying in bed. The man says, „I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.“ The woman replies, „I'll miss you …“
[PERIOD]
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One day my housework challenged husband decided to wash his sweat shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' Liverpool .'
And they say blondes are dumb… [Period]
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wird mit einem Schraubenschlssel mehr anzufangen wissen, als ein unentschlossener mit einem Werkzeugladen.“ (Emil Oesch)
[ENDE]
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