Wit & Wisdom

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards…

The man, who was a priest, said, „I am a Father.“ The little boy replied, „My Dad doesn't wear his collar like that.“ The priest looked up from his book and answered, „I am the Father of many.“

The boy said,“My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.“ The priest, getting impatient, said, „I am the Father of hundreds“ and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, „Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.” [PERIOD]
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eine Blondine zwischen zwei Brnetten? Eine Bildungslcke![ENDE]
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hat dreierlei Wege, klug zu handeln: erstens durch Nachdenken, das ist der edelste, zweitens durch Nachahmen, das ist der leichteste, und drittens durch Erfahrung, das ist der bitterste.“ (Konfuzius)[ENDE]

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Dear International Community:

We, the United States of America , your top-quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4. Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding,

Sincerely,

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA [PERIOD]
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A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again, and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
When the case came before the court, this was the man's reply when asked why he acted in such a manner:
„When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement which read „Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins“, then she moved under one that read „Sloan's Liniments Remove Swelling“.
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read „William's Stick Did The Trick“. Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read „Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.“
He won the case. [PERIOD]
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Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem britischen, einem franzsischen und einem deutschen Rentner?
Der Brite nimmt einen Whisky und geht zum Pferderennen.
Der Franzose nimmt einen Pernod und geht zum Boulespielen.
Der Deutsche nimmt seine Herztropfen und geht zur Arbeit. [ENDE]
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streiten. Sagt der eine: „Sie Parven!“ Darauf der andere: „Ich wei schon, Sie meinen den Affen! Aber der heit Parmesan!“[ENDE]
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Stirbt ein Bediensteter whrend einer Dienstreise, so ist damit die Dienstreise beendet. [ENDE]
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einem die Treue Spa macht, dann ist es Liebe.“ (Julie Andrews)[ENDE]
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