1. Februar 2011
The Cow and the Financial Crisis
TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a baby bull.
You nurse and feed it well.
They mate, your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You invest and keep the gains in the country's reserve.
You sell them and everyone retires on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You mortgage both of them to the bank and obtain investment for two more cows.
Then re-mortgage the investment in the four cows for eight cows and
continue to do likewise.
The financial market floods with mortgages and investments in cow assets.
No one knows who owns the original two cows and where they are.
Then the two original cows grow old and eventually die.
You are surprised when there's no asset to back up the mortgage or
repay the loan.
Finally, you ask the government to bail out the collapsed financial cow market.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market
them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
[PERIOD]